Third time is a charm...

Well, today I will have my 3rd surgery, 2nd reconstructive surgery.

I got up at 4am for my "last bites" & coffee. I find that music with nature sounds and other relaxation music helps me to find a good spot to wait and prepare for surgery. In addition, I'm doing some last minute things to be prepared for a few weeks of limited stretch and lifting. I found some other things that needed to be done - sort the mail, clean the bathroom, and this.

There was a light dusting of snow during the night. I'm hoping it will be dry enough to get a walk this morning. We have to leave at 10:30 for the hospital. It's all in the timing!

Pre-op appointment
In preparation for my pre-op appointment I made flubber to see if I could do some sculpting and get an idea of volume needed. Didn't seem to work too well due to body heat and where the needs were. But, I hope to do something with the flubber before I toss it. I've kept it from drying out by putting it in a zip lock bag. Using carpentry tools and rulers we also did some measuring  to see where differences were in projection, diameter, etc. Dr. C. had given me a copy of the volume, projection and diameter of different implants. I was able to use this and my measurements to come up with a proposed solution, which was a little different than what he earlier thought. He was in agreement with my proposal. I'm glad I did that. He mentioned some other things that he could do, but left me to think on those.

Our, or should I say my goals for today's surgery....
I've been thinking about this alot since my pre-op appt. two weeks ago. My surgeon is concerned that I may be focusing on a degree of perfection that we can't reach. I take that into consideration as I evaluate what it is that I am hoping for today.

• Comfort - is there anything we can do to increase the comfort? What is causing the discomfort? I think I am experiencing increasing sensation on the right nipple/breast that is not altogether pleasant, though not painful. It's an ever-present awareness of pressure -- mmm- maybe not ever-present but erratically present on a daily basis, usually increasing as the day wears on. I don't imagine that we can do anything to change that. Is there anything else?
• Symmetry - is it too much too hope for a greater degree of symmetry? Left nipple higher on the breast, right breast with more diameter and volume so that hopefully it will fill out the concavity some above the breast where breast tissue was also removed. I think breasts must go all the way up to your neck! There really isn't a good option though unlimited financial resources would give us more options. Fat graft - needs to be a larger piece of tissue in order to maintain adequate vascularity. Fat injections - as of 1/1 my insurance company considers them investigational so that would be my financial responsibility along with any potential complications and facility charges. Collagen injections - costly, particularly for the amount of volume needed. 
• Stability - the right breast was lowered on the chest wall so that as you look at both, the bottom of the breast (not the inframmary crease) lines up. There is the potential that over time the implant could drop further down on the right. I don't want to go back in a year, two, or three to say "Umm, my boob is sliding down my chest. Can we get it fixed?" If it looks like it is migrating as  it is, then lets do something to prevent that from happening. There are options that might help with that, but is the risk great enough? 

So, as I look forward to today, I am not so concerned about the surgery itself as I have a skilled surgeon, but about the outcome, as I view this as my "last opportunity". I need it to be my last trip to the operating room for some time. I'd really rather spend money on travel, welding and glass-making classes, so keep me out of the OR until I need my parts replaced, please!

I have no photos or art to show today, but I think there will be some in the making soon. Stand by.

Thanks for your thoughts today.