2+ weeks Post-op #3

2nd follow-up visit...
A little more complex than the last two surgeries, it's going to take time and patience to see how things will turn out. And, most likely one more procedure. I may seek a couple of consults from other surgeons before I go forward with the next procedure. I'm sure that I can get a couple of good names from my surgeons - just want to make sure that the remedy will provide the best outcome. My next visit is April 25th.

How does it feel?
 I don't have alot of pain, though there is some pressure on the right - the one with the implant under the muscle. I tried my cover all bra the other day and after an hour I knew it would be awhile until I could wear real structured bras. Sports bra it is for awhile. I saw a piece on television about this local gal who designed a sports bra that is not a uniboob, and actually has pockets and pads in it for those who have had mastectomies. It's called the Handful. Since it qualifies as a mastectomy bra, insurance would cover it. I got one to see how it is - comfortable. Haven't used the pads yet but will likely need to do so for getting dressed up for awhile. I'm past wearing bras for 24/7, which is nice.

What I've been up to...
Well, I try to walk everyday but the weather has been pretty discouraging of that kind of activity. However, I've found time between raindrops almost every day for at least a short walk. Even though it snowed the other day the sidewalks were clear when I went out for a walk. And we've had some absolutely gorgeous sunny weather since. I'm sitting on the back porch soaking up the south sun as I write (that was Friday). Love it.

Got together for lunch with a cousin which was nice. Today I had lunch with a friend and a short walk in the neighborhood. I love to be able to walk to the places I need/want to go. Yummy Tom Yum soup at the Bai Mint Thai restaurant on Woodstock. This evening I'll get together with a friend for wine tasting at a local shop. Back to work on Monday, though I'll be working from home.

I've been making jewelry. It's a good way to get my mind on other things and not violate my post-op instructions of lifting <10 lbs, no stretching or driving. I now get to drive so that obstacle is out of the way.

I'll bore you with photos of my jewelry.

Silver and gold-tone shapes

S fasteners for pendants and necklaces

Earrings: Guinea fowl, barred wood duck, Lady Amherst tippetts with quill and goose biots;
twisted wire beads, semi-precious gem-stones.

Earrings: not your normal everyday pair; can be worn alone or as a pair; asymmetrical in length, chain shape and final bead. Not for your normal everyday girl.

Two-sided abalone wire-wrapped pendant

Opposite side of the pendant.

2nd two-sided wire-wrapped abilone pendant

Opposite side of abilone pendant

Carnelian earrings

Cluster ring with multi-colored semi-precious stones (larger ring)

Cluster ring with white/clear semi-precious stones (pinky ring)

My favorites are the feather earrings and the cluster rings. Of course, those are the items that took the longest to make. On the feathers, I made one earring, didn't like it, took it apart and started all over. Of course, glasses are required for this work. I'm not yet using precious metals, but that means that I don't have to feel bad about tearing things apart and starting all over. Someday.... and maybe some silver soldering for finer jewelry.

Finishing up on Sunday
Back to work on Monday. I'm not sure that I am mentally ready, but it will probably be good for me. I'll work from home at least the first week.

Sky is gray, and it's looking like I should get out for my walk before it starts to rain. Until later....

Post-op report 1 week later

A week ago today, I had my revision of my reconstruction.

Dr. C did the pre-marking before-hand. We thought we had it nailed as far as what needed to be done. He ended up doing a mastopexy on the left to lift the nipple higher. Did some refinement on the right and upsized the implant some.

I experienced alot more pain this time, I think due to the extra work on the left breast which still has sensation. Due to nausea related to pain meds, it took me about an hour extra to be ready to go home. Got home about 8:30. I ended up using a left-over pain med from last year until I got my prescription filled. OMG - talk about itching and a fairly sleepless night. That's one I don't want again. Once I got my prescription filled I did much better.

Bandages came off on Fri. First impressions aren't good. Fortunately mastopexies look much worse initially than what they do once things have healed and settled. Sometimes I find myself holding my breath and wondering what I will do. I just have to wait. I think that I should join some freak boob show and start to raise money for reconstruction of reconstruction. I hope that things won't look as bad as they do now.  There's a really great surgeon in Louisiana, I hear. I guess I could go live and work there for a couple months! I've started saving my coins. I'll let things settle awhile and think very carefully about any revisions.

I'm asking myself what I can learn from this experience. What I can do for others. How I can be a stronger, wiser person. I haven't heard any voices yet, but I suspect that over time I will have some ideas - perhaps.

What else? Thank goodness for good friends. Too many treats to name. For time with me walking on a cold day in the Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden. I love the variety of water fowl. There were also some early bloomers of a variety of flowers. Wish I knew what they are. Crazy weather today, but just dry enough at the right time, we only got chilled, not wet.

Check these feathered friends out!

One mixed up kinda guy hanging out with the mallards

Lesser Scaup, I think

Wigeon? Female Pintail? Not sure.

Wood Duck

Wood Duck grooming his beloved

And the flowers... not sure what they are, but ever so fragrant. Can you smell them? Sort of like Daphne. I think I found it on the web. 

Paper Bush/Edgeworthia Crysanthea

Accomplishments & things to do....

Got taxes done. So much fun, but necessary. Happy to say, a contribution towards medical expenses is on its way. Haven't started jewelry yet. I think that's on my agenda for tomorrow. I have a couple pieces in mind - we'll see what comes out of it.

I think I have some papers and junk to sort out and toss or shred. We've been rearranging, reorganizing and painting. So I guess that's something productive.

Anyway, enough is enough. I'll catch  up to you later!

Third time is a charm...

Well, today I will have my 3rd surgery, 2nd reconstructive surgery.

I got up at 4am for my "last bites" & coffee. I find that music with nature sounds and other relaxation music helps me to find a good spot to wait and prepare for surgery. In addition, I'm doing some last minute things to be prepared for a few weeks of limited stretch and lifting. I found some other things that needed to be done - sort the mail, clean the bathroom, and this.

There was a light dusting of snow during the night. I'm hoping it will be dry enough to get a walk this morning. We have to leave at 10:30 for the hospital. It's all in the timing!

Pre-op appointment
In preparation for my pre-op appointment I made flubber to see if I could do some sculpting and get an idea of volume needed. Didn't seem to work too well due to body heat and where the needs were. But, I hope to do something with the flubber before I toss it. I've kept it from drying out by putting it in a zip lock bag. Using carpentry tools and rulers we also did some measuring  to see where differences were in projection, diameter, etc. Dr. C. had given me a copy of the volume, projection and diameter of different implants. I was able to use this and my measurements to come up with a proposed solution, which was a little different than what he earlier thought. He was in agreement with my proposal. I'm glad I did that. He mentioned some other things that he could do, but left me to think on those.

Our, or should I say my goals for today's surgery....
I've been thinking about this alot since my pre-op appt. two weeks ago. My surgeon is concerned that I may be focusing on a degree of perfection that we can't reach. I take that into consideration as I evaluate what it is that I am hoping for today.

• Comfort - is there anything we can do to increase the comfort? What is causing the discomfort? I think I am experiencing increasing sensation on the right nipple/breast that is not altogether pleasant, though not painful. It's an ever-present awareness of pressure -- mmm- maybe not ever-present but erratically present on a daily basis, usually increasing as the day wears on. I don't imagine that we can do anything to change that. Is there anything else?
• Symmetry - is it too much too hope for a greater degree of symmetry? Left nipple higher on the breast, right breast with more diameter and volume so that hopefully it will fill out the concavity some above the breast where breast tissue was also removed. I think breasts must go all the way up to your neck! There really isn't a good option though unlimited financial resources would give us more options. Fat graft - needs to be a larger piece of tissue in order to maintain adequate vascularity. Fat injections - as of 1/1 my insurance company considers them investigational so that would be my financial responsibility along with any potential complications and facility charges. Collagen injections - costly, particularly for the amount of volume needed. 
• Stability - the right breast was lowered on the chest wall so that as you look at both, the bottom of the breast (not the inframmary crease) lines up. There is the potential that over time the implant could drop further down on the right. I don't want to go back in a year, two, or three to say "Umm, my boob is sliding down my chest. Can we get it fixed?" If it looks like it is migrating as  it is, then lets do something to prevent that from happening. There are options that might help with that, but is the risk great enough? 

So, as I look forward to today, I am not so concerned about the surgery itself as I have a skilled surgeon, but about the outcome, as I view this as my "last opportunity". I need it to be my last trip to the operating room for some time. I'd really rather spend money on travel, welding and glass-making classes, so keep me out of the OR until I need my parts replaced, please!

I have no photos or art to show today, but I think there will be some in the making soon. Stand by.

Thanks for your thoughts today.

Next Steps

Follow-up visit January 24 
Well, essentially, things are looking the same as they did at my last appointment. Incisions are healing. I told the Dr. that I bought sweater bras, but while they help a little, I have to still use a small insert and that still doesn't correct everything. Plus, they aren't all that comfortable.

 What is it that needs to be done?

I'd like:

• A lift on the left to bring the left nipple to the height of the right (reconstructed breast)
• Volume in the right place on the right breast to fill in the valley above the breast and balance out the volume of the breast

What can/may be done:

• There will not be a lift on the left due to concern about interrupting vascular supply with the implant in its current location
• We will consider moving that nipple higher. Based on my basic photoshop skills that would probably look ok.
• On the right, trade out for a lower profile, wider, and probably larger implant. 

Dr. C is willing to do what needs to be done, but obviously, this can't go on forever. So we'll have to choose a stopping point. I say the third time is a charm! I hope. I'm not sure I have accepted it yet, but I may always and forever have one ugly boob. Not excited by it, but working on accepting it.

Next
I'll have a pre-op appt. on Feb. 21 prior to my next surgery, whch is scheduled for March 6. Meanwhile I have a few things to do to get ready.

There are outdoor projects which I am putting off for a couple of weeks so the timing will be closer to right. March/April are kind of important spring gardening/cleanup months. I won't be doing much if any of that during those months. On the inside, we started painting a room this past weekend, tore the carpet up, and will be laying laminate. I want to finish that by the end of this coming weekend. It's looking so good. I have some touchup and the quarter round to paint yet - then the floor goes down.

In order to help determine how much volume needs to be added to my right breast, I have an assignment to complete before my pre-op appt. I am to make flubber out of borax, glue, water, and food color - but then most of you probably already knew what it was. It was all new to me! I'll sculpt it over my breast to fill in the spaces and fill out the roundness, place it in a container of water and see how much fluid is displaced. That should give us volume. I'm looking forward it. Not sure what color I'll make it just yet. Bright pink? Flesh color? I think I need a pair of calipers to help with the measurements. Yet another art project! We'll see how it looks - you may get to see some pictures. Unconventional, I think, but maybe it will help to better visualize what needs to be done.

Motivation is good....
I don't think I have any new jewelry or sculpture to share with you. But what I do have to share is probably just as good. After a very long time of not accomplishing much, and playing way too much solitaire, I decided to get moving, get motivated. I'm trying to exercise more - walking and strength training. Painting has kind of interfered with that for a bit. Accomplish projects that have been delayed -we started on the "office" - reorging, tearing up carpet and doing the painting. I've done some pruning. And... well doesn't sound like much, but I am feeling sort of energized by it and want to get more done. Is this what it feels like to have the nesting instinct? I've gained weight - sure hope it's not a baby!

Wait, I do  have a bracelet to show you. I made it for a work friend who has walked and talked with me alot. She likes. Says her daughter wants to wear it, and would like one of her own in silver! This one made me a little cranky though a 2nd one would be easier. Don't think I'll go there!

Copper with wire, glass beads

 I am trying to think of a couple of jewelry projects for when I am off again. I don't think that taxes and shredding financial papers will take up the whole time. I certainly hope not anyway.

I worked some more on my "brochure". I didn't like how it came out graphically - I had some technical issues. Not sure if it has all the content I want, or maybe too much. I think I'll have several people review it and see what kind of feedback I get from it. I left it with Dr. C this past visit to see what his thoughts might be on it.

I have a drawing to share with you, just for the heck of it. Soon after my last surgery I was trying to measure the symmetry, or perhaps, the asymmetry of my breasts. Might be some more in the "series" later on.

Measuring for Symmetry

Well ladies and gents, I think I'm done rambling for one night. I'll check in with you again in a few weeks. Come back for the flubber breast sculpture in your favorite color!

2 months post-op #2

It's been awhile since I've been here. And this whole time, I've thought about my asymmetry and hope that there is something that can be done to even things out. I've focused a lot inward for the past months and am  hoping to be able to soon put these "girls" to rest, and my mind.

Welding
I did get some welding done over Thanksgiving. It turned out much different than I had in my mind, but how can you help but be influenced by an engineer! Stability rules. We brought the rock home from a rock quarry trip and I have been visualizing what I would do with it for this whole time. Now we just need to find the best spot for it. Fortunately, it can be moved about at will - I can even lift it. I may add some more design to it without needing to weld it. Need to get more metal rod and use the bender that we made while in the welding mode. Some day, I'll have my own welder, but feel like I need more training to operate safely before I do. It was almost like starting all over. It did take my mind off the boobs - I couldn't think about anything but using the equipment safely and creating an object. Good stuff.

Jewelry
I finished up a bracelet that I thought was pretty cool. Has 150-160 beads on it. It's a stretchy charm bracelet with beads wired through the charm "loops".  I now have only one project that I have started that I need to finish.

What else?

Not much. Lots of Solitaire which is equivalent to numbness and wasted time. Guess I feel a little like I am in limbo until I either have to give up or try one more time for better results. I don't have much motivation to get things done. I do totally enjoy focusing on projects that require my attention and leave little room to think about boobs. Welding and jewelry do that for me.

I did buy 2 new bras - sweater bras. Kind of like heavy duty padded bras. Even with that, things aren't balanced. Add a little insert, and it is either too big or still not quite right. Like I said last time - can't imagine wearing them while riding motorcycle. I strive for one garment (with it's own support). Watch me step off the bike, take my jacket off, and omg, sweater bra!!! Or let's just say I don't care that I am uneven and have chosen a sports top with it's own light support. I proudly step off my bike, slip out of that jacket, and  omg, I think I have been spotted. I think I have just been demoted from Biker Chick to Biker Hag. I'm gonna go get me some ugly tats and have a couple of front teeth pulled. Welllll, it may not be that bad.

Went to see my General Surgeon this past week. He was interested in the results, probably because that's his job, but also because he hadn't done many nipple sparing procedures. So he was analyzing the results and asking me questions. Rated it on a scale of 1-10 for breast reconstruction as a 9. That's not too bad. I did feel better (for a little bit) after seeing him. He was please with the nipple sparing results. He explained why I have the area above my right breast that is sort of caved in. Breast tissues goes way up the chest, so they removed tissue from that area as well. Therefore an indented area that is causing much of my concern about asymmetry. Nice to know that. I had begun to understand what the options for fixing that might be from my new job and reading operative reports. We'll see if any of those work for me. 

We talked about future mammograms on the right. He initially thought that I didn't need to do that, but Dr. C thought I should continue. So I brought it up with Dr. I. He thought about why he initially said that. Most women who have a mastectomy have all of their breast tissue removed, so there is nothing to check with the mammogram. In my case they did leave some tissue. He is thinking that probably I should return at least for a baseline about a year after my surgery, then we will have it for any future reference we may need if we note changes. Makes sense. I really appreciated my visit with Dr. I. I thought surgeons cut and run - not these two. Seems like Dr. I might be a part of my life for awhile. I return to see him again in 6 mos, unless I have another surgery. Then I should just push the visit back a bit.

Next

I'll see Dr. C towards the end of January. I await that visit both with trepidation and eagerness. I am hopeful, I think, that there is more we can do. So....

Don't forget, this year (2012) can be about preventive health care measures. Most of us who have insurance coverage have that care provided to us without cost due to the Federal Health Care Reform measures, however we may feel about them. Take advantage of it. Get those mammograms, pelvic exams, prostate exams, colonoscopies, or whatever you have been putting off. Do it for me, you, your family and your friends.

Until a little later.

2+ weeks post-op #2

Well, I had my followup appointment yesterday. I was ready, I thought, to tell Dr. C what I felt in relationship to outcomes in such a convincing way that I would get what I wanted - some more work to fix the asymmetry. After experiencing asymmetry of some sort for a few months, I had hoped for trouble free symmetry. I made my observations - I like the left breast, with the exception of the nipple being a little low. I wasn't as happy with the right. While pre-op we thought that 400 cc was too big, it was an overfilled 250cc expander which ended up looking kind of like a ball. The inframmary crease was a little high. Plan for surgery was too move that down, open up towards the middle a bit to make the breasts each more equally aligned vertically. During surgery you can only work on one breast at a time. So though you have markings, etc. you have to "imagine" what it will look like in relationship to the other breast. Must be a challenge. So the right one with the expander was done first. Moved down, opened more to the middle, inserted a smaller implant. Then the left one was done - a crescent incision at the top half of the areola, removal of some of the skin to help lift the nipple, insertion of the implant through that. As I told Dr. C, the right breast is smaller, not as much fullness at the top, and not as much fullness to the right of the nipple as the left. Which means that I can tell a difference when I put various tops on, bras, etc. I had really hoped to lead him towards a decision to redo the right with a larger implant. Being the responsible surgeon that he is, he suggests that we wait to see how the breasts settle over time. He wants me to be happy with the results but at some point he will need to stop tweaking it. "If you can have patience...." Meanwhile, he can write me a prescription for a special bra. Have any of you heard of a sweater bra? He thinks it would cover the inadequacies. Anyway, I think I'll hold off on that bra. I already have 3 mastectomy bras, but they aren't sweater bras that I know of! Ehhhh.

Why are bras the solution to asymmetry? Perhaps next time I can describe for him what it is like to wear a heavy bra when I am riding motorcycle with a full jacket on on a really hot day. I try to wear the least amount I can under it and not be considered indecent. If I wear a decorative sports bra or sports top with its own shelf bra in it, I can be comfortable, it absorbs the trickling sweat, and I can take my jacket off in public. Imagine this, I carry one "special bra" no, wear it. We camp in a primitive campsite, I hand wash the bra in the water drained out of the cooler, in the morning before we take off. I fasten the bra to the bag on the back of my bike so that it gets dried out. Meanwhile I either wear a backup or no bra. Kinda funny, huh?

How about hiking in 90-100 degree weather in a canyon with a day pack on and wearing a structured bra under a top that doesn't show the bra straps? So, I'm not really ready to call it quits. But I can wait, and hopefully by the time summer tops come out again I can actually feel confident wearing one and not look noticeably lopsided. I understand that it is hard to get them the same or near same in one surgery. Nonetheless, I am not ready to settle for a special bra for years to come as the solution if we can correct it another way. I believe the third time (that would be the next time) is the charm. So, I hope that he will consider that when I see him next year. Patience.

Dr. C had wanted to see pictures of my feather jewelry, so I took some in. His daughter has used his feathers and equipment to make jewelry for herself and friends. I have an idea for another set I'd like to do out of the golden pheasant. I still have lots of feathers. I'll probably end up giving away the majority of the feathers as I'm not sure that I will make that much feather jewelry. One of the girls at work is interested in something, so I'll see what she likes.


I forgot - posted later today.....
Taping the boobs. Will be applying tape to the incision lines for about 4 weeks. Supposedly helps to smooth out the scar, etc. Should be able to have on about 4 days and off for a day, then retape. Also, still not lifting much or stretching. I can drive. Today on my walk I stopped at the produce stand and had to make a decision - do I want to buy a stalk of brussel sprouts or fresh apple cider? hmmm. Let me weigh that! I can carry a gallon of something. I can't carry both. I bought the cider. I can go buy on my next walk and get the stalk of brussel sprouts. I read a recipe for roasted sprouts today that I'd like to try.


So... back to work on Monday. I'll have to have someone drop me off as I have my work laptop and I'm still not supposed to lift over 8-10 lbs. I'll get retrained if I need it, or hopefully, I will not have forgotten much and can almost pick up from where I left off.

Cooking was listed on my post-op instructions as something I couldn't do until after week 3. I wondered why and the only reason Dr. C could come up with was the lifting of heavy pots. Well, I came up with another. If you are short like me, you have to reach for everything. I did cook a stew one day, but it took longer than usual as I had to carry a small lightweight stool around so that I could get things out of the cabinet.

When I am 4 weeks post-op I can do anything. We plan to be at friends for Tday weekend. The Mr. there has welding equipment and is excited that I'd like to do some welding. Just the right timing in relationship to surgery and lifted restrictions. I'm trying to think of what I might like to make. I need to make a hanger for necklaces at some point - should be working on a design. I bought an inexpensive welding hood so I am set with the other small tools and supplies that I need from prior welding classes. Should be fun. This time I'll try reading glasses and see if I can see where to place the weld better! Just might work.

Activities
I'm getting my walks in. I missed two days due to either weather or being out and about. A week ago we went with friends to Sauvie Island to see Sandhill cranes. We did see maybe 5 - not as many as I hoped. Anyway, it was fun to get out with them. Sunday I had Mr. drop me off at Oaks Bottom. I walked the trail, took some photos. I have never seen so many Blue Herons in one location. A huge mural has been painted on the back side of the mausoleum that faces the Bottom. After walking that I walked from there through West Moreland back to Woodstock. Great day. To see more about the mural, check out this link to OPB.

Mural

Great Blue Herons

And of course, more jewelry. Here are a few pictures. I have one project I have been procrastinating on as it isn't coming out quite like I wanted. Oh well.

Silver-covered wire with carnelian stones

Silver-plated chain with clusters of gem stone beads

Silver chain with purple glass beads and silver-coated wire

Dangle earrings with silver-coated wire with gold-toned beads

What is to come?
I will follow up with my general surgeon in the next month sometime. Again with Dr. C late January. I don't anticipate lots of activity here on this blog, however, I will post on occasion. I have a couple questions - one being how will I do self-breast checks and when should I start those. I haven't had a chance to share some of my insights with them about information sharing, etc. I think I still want to do that. I'd also like to ask them if they would like to refer people to me if they have questions about breast reconstruction. We'll see.

Support and resources
Meanwhile, I want to be available to anyone who might have questions about breast reconstruction and resources. I'll post a piece that I started to put together awhile back when it is finished for anyone who might want a resource, or want to share one with someone else. You can email me from this blog if you have any questions (I think), or post a brief comment and I will get an email.

1 week ago today ...

This time last week, we were waiting in the pre-op room for the preliminary stuff to be done. Seems like a long time ago.

I did ask the Dr. last week about whether the guys in the OR got to place votes on symmetry during surgery - all of the people in the room were male except for about 30 min. a female was filling in for one of the guys. He said "Guys are interested in symmetry too.." Doesn't bother me a bit if they did give input. I like the idea of more than one person helping out with that. This kind of surgery is an art and a science. It's not easy to get things perfect.

Anyway, I'm really excited about the jewelry that I have finished. I did some design and assembling, then photographing using an old male fitting form. This old guy really liked the attention! I really kind of like him for the display and photographing of pieces. It also really helped in seeing how things lay as I work.

Jewelry coming up

The first set is with Lady Amherst feathers dyed blue. I purchased a head and plucked feathers from that, used tippets and head feathers and a goose biot. Here's a link to a real whole bird. http://ak-aviary.tripod.com/id1.html

This one is made from the head of a golden pheasant dyed (I thought) yellow/orange tones. Here's a link to a whole bunch of pictures. I don't know which type this one is.

Blue Peacock feathers were used for this pendant. In addition, I added black and green quills and of course beads. The quills are the thin hairy strands. I think we all know what peacocks look like, but just in case, here's a link.

This one has a number of different feathers in it and are left in their natural color. Lady Amherst Tippets (white with black stripe), Guinea feathers (polka dot), and barred wood duck (black with white stripe) with quills and biot. I'll see if I can find a couple more pictures of the birds you haven't seen yet. Guinea Fowl. Barred Wood Duck.

You really must see the heads I was working with.

Lady Amherst

Golden Pheasant

I still have more feathers and will need to decide what to do with them... Some were hard to buy in small quantities. I haven't made any for myself yet, not sure if I will. If I can think of something to wear it with, maybe I will do something just for the fun of it. Thoughts?

On to non-feathered ideas soon. First a hot, steamy shower. Maybe my walk.

Post Op Day 6

Thanks to all of you for your healing thoughts and well wishes. I believe they play a huge role in my recovery.

What's new?

The day before I went to my appointment I saw a piece on day-time television about a woman who had a uniboob after she had her implants redone. I had read about this before (on the internet) but had forgotten about it. OMG - what if I end up with one too? I had to peek - boobs are kind of squeezed together so kind of hard to tell. We'll just have to wait and see.

On 10/28 I got my fancy halter top removed. That felt good. No uniboob, just a little cleavage. Thank goodness for that! I am not experiencing nearly as much itching without that fashion item on. Now I am wearing a bra 24/7 except when I shower.

Latest halter design fashion

A friend helped me get to my appointment since Mr. had to stay home with the furnace installer. We had lunch and a walk as well. That was nice.

Dr. was pleased with results, though left ended up a little bigger than right and the nipple a little lower. He thinks he can fix that with an office procedure, or at least improve it. I hope so. My next follow-up isn't until 11/9, so I'll have to wait until then to see how soon we can work that in. Sounds like his schedule is pretty full into Feb. I can have the size discrepancies fixed at the time that my parts require replacement. He thinks that the nipple-sparing procedure gave a much better result in appearance than the standard mastectomy and rebuilding the nipple. There would have been more scarring with that procedure.

My pain is more discomfort or irritation in the left, almost nothing in the right since there is little sensation there. I haven't taken pain meds for a couple of days. I am limited to how far I can reach/stretch my arms and how much I can lift. I am taking advantage of my loyal caregiver.

The furnace installation was completed on Friday. It's nice to have heat. Really good, in fact. The furnace is great - I never hear it running. I'll look forward to seeing the first heating bill, maybe. But, considering annual repairs, service contract, heating oil and tank insurance, we should at least break even on monthly expenses. What would even be better would be that this thing would pay for itself over time in energy efficiency. One can hope.

I have played way too much solitaire. I have spent a couple of days working on jewelry now that I am allowed out of my room (furnace repair guys are gone). I'm working with feathers. Not sure how much of that I will do. I'll post some photos of those after I complete this next piece. It's taking alot more time and skill - that I don't know that I have. I have a few other pieces planned, 1 with feathers and others without feathers. Not sure I'll get them all done during my time off.

We have some fun activities planned even though I can't drive. We plan to meet Dad/aunt for breakfast at a restaurant in Willamina - Coyote Joe's - they have the best sausage ever. Sandhill Cranes migrate through Sauvie's Island and some stay all winter. We want to go out one afternoon with friends to see what we can see. Of course, I want to get out for some walks - yesterday was the first time I didn't take one. It's the rain, you know! Gotta get past that.

Next week after Tuesday I will be able to drive, so I'll go out and get some things done that I can't do for now.

Post Op Day 1

Surgery went well. Had an interesting conversation about health care reform and insurance coverage with my pre-op nurse. Kind of interfered with my zen moments, but she was distressed about the changes in her health plan for this coming year. And of course, the new knowledge that I am gaining in my position really adds to my ability to explain things.

The anesthesiologist came in to introduce himself, explain, and assure me that he would do a good job and take good care of me during surgery. Dr. C came in to draw his plans on my breasts. He told me what a good anesthesiologist I have, and learned that he is also a friend. I asked him how many voting members we'd have in the OR. He said Dr. D wouldn't be good at it, and we'd have to see who was present. He had told me that he asks people in the OR to give input on evenness when he sits me up. After Dr. C was in, Dr. D came back to sedate me. I got to see the OR. The anesthesiologist only sedated me lightly until after I was in the OR. Only male voting members, mhhmm. Wonder if he gave them the opportunity to vote. He did ask if a specific female nurse was in when he came into the OR but she wasn't. I'll have to wait until Friday to find out more details! I had my midafternoon nap that I was looking forward to. Woke up in the recovery area, then back to the pre-op/short stay area to finish up. We left the hospital by 6.

Thank goodness for my Marge Simpson hair do bag. I accepted the offer of a puke bag though I hadn't had any issues with nausea. I sort of felt the urge on the way home - I had been looking down at my cellphone, making some calls. After I decided to keep my eyes up or closed I felt better. So glad I didn't need to use the hat. I'll show you a picture. I'm not sure that I look even as good as Marge.

Marge's Hair Bag

I have the loveliest breast supporter on. It provides good coverage, modesty, and potential for new fashion design. Gauze halter type dressing under a huge ace like wrap with velcro that goes all around my chest. I'll wear that until I see Dr. C on Friday. No showers until then. I can only hope that we have hot water so I can soak in the shallows of the tub. I'll have to figure out how to get my hair washed over the next couple of days.

I tolerated my soup and grilled cheese sandwich well. Almost fell asleep on it. I thought I'd sleep all night really well because of my extreme sleepiness. Guess that doesn't work - I woke up periodically, took pain meds when time so that I wouldn't find myself in extreme discomfort. Drank water. Scratchy throat - lozenges. Cat with me for quite awhile. I'm glad she decided to go to her own bed after awhile. I'm trying to sleep with my torso slightly elevated and on my back. I found myself raising my right arm above my head in my sleep. I often do that when sleeping. That's a bad. I haven't had terrible pain yet.

Other exciting news on the home front - the furnace installers are getting started today. We have been out of heat since March. We are switching to gas from oil. So, we will likely to have gas off during the day time. Just in time for heating - it's been 58 when I get up in the morning. That's actually a good sleeping temp, but not a good waking temp. My plan is to buy the Mr.  a tank top and bikini swim pants so he can still be comfortable with a temp of, oh, I'm thinking 64 might work.

Plans for today: walk at least around the block at least once (with a cap on to cover the holes in my head); maybe I'll start scanning slides to digital format for dad - don't need as fine of dexterity as I would with jewelry. Rest, rehydrate, take drugs, and eat. Sounds good doesn't it.

Today is the Big Day

Wow, it's here - surgery day. Seemed like today would never come. I have even been excited to go to surgery and with a little trepidation about the outcome. I think that my breasts will look as good as a human can make them look given the circumstances, but I don't know what that will be.

I worked at home on Friday and Monday, so I decided I was going to take this opportunity to go braless in spite of the uneven situation going on. Sort of a memorial to what is, and what I will be leaving behind. Tried to protect others from the discrepancy as much as possible with baggy clothes. I'll have to wear a bra 24/7 for two weeks, so.....

So I got up before the birds, pretty much my normal time to get up for work, at 4:15. I needed to get a little in to eat, some coffee and clear liquids. I could have gone back to bed, but I chose to do some washing of woodwork, clean the bathroom, dust the main rooms, listen to Enya (great pre-op music), and get my table set up for making jewelry. I'm really looking forward to that. With the right music on, it will help me kind of melt into that relaxed calm mental state. I think I need to change the current selection real soon or that won't happen! After all that work, I worked up a thirst. Poor me.

Soon I'll go out for a short walk - still a little chilly out. Guess I need to get used to it! Come back in for a nice hot soak, slip into my easy to get into clothes and head out the door. I think I'm his first surgery case of the day as he normally has office hours Tues. AM, so unless something ties him up there, we should get a timely start. I think surgery may be about 2 hrs. Could it be possible that I will be home in time for a lovely hot cooked supper?

Thanks for all of your healing thoughts and well wishes. I know that with those and the surgeon's skills, I am in good hands and have an excellent chance of optimal outcomes and recovery. I'll post later this week - but have to have some jewelry or something to show!